♥Mommy Jerine * Baby Kayson * Daddy Gabriel♥

Sunday, September 4, 2016

I'm so down today.

Deleted previous post. ARGHS !!! I don't know what to type. I am fucking shit angry with myself and any other people. Fuck Shit !!!

EPGQ.
U can ignore me as long as u what. Yes, although it's difficult to me to ignore and not think of u. But i'll try! At least the earlier i start the earlier i'll recover. What's the problem with u? U sick then can anyhow give attitude as and when u like issit? U got temper people don't have ah? One day treat me good another day totally changed till like another person. U want ignore me then ignore me forever. I would really wanna shift & delete u from my mind. Irritating !

ASH.
I don't know what's wrong with u seriously. U're adding oil and fire to my mood.

090909.
U're ignoring me like anybody elses today. I was so down and u left me alone. Speechless.

ASX. =)
Buddy, thanks for concerning me. If i've given u any attitude or what. I'm sorry. I'm just not myself today. Broke down totally. Afterall, u're still the one there for me. Loves.

WK. =))
Thanks for consoling me. Appreciated. U made me understand myself more and asking myself what i really want. Although i'm now still under his sadness. But i'll cheer up real soon. I promise. I'll get him off my life real soon. We hardly talk and u seems to understand me more than him. Yes ! I agree on u're much much much more better than him. He sucks totally and i hope he'll get his revenge one fine day. I'll ruined my own life if i continues clinging on him. A big thanks to u.

What's wrong with me today. Nothing goes well for me today. Broke down several times. Totally lost ! Feel like going up to the 30th storey and shout as loud as i can. Tried to jokes and laughs with cousins. But i don't feel well. My heart keeps crying. The journey from bedok to home seems fast. Was i dreaming? I just wanna be back myself. I hate it. Fuck !

凯羚♥♥义发

8:56 AM

Friday, March 25, 2011

EVERYTHING'S GOING WELL

*Grumpy Face*

HeLLOS peoples~ Back for a short post. Baby Kayson is 2 weeks & 2 days old already. Time flies. Having baby boy by my side time seems to pass faster. Am always busy on him. Just can't take my eyes off him.

Baby Kayson is tube & needles free! YAY! Doc have removed all tubes from him & his wounds are recovering well. Thanks god. Everything is going well & smooth. Will be planning Baby Kayson's full month celebration with parents this sat & sun. Most likely to be hold on 2nd April Saturday afternoon 4pm at granny's place located at cck. There'll be buffet, red eggs & ang kueh. Hope everything will turns out well.

Am still on confinement. 15 days pass. Will be bathing with herbal water today & gonna wash my smelly & oily hair at jean yip tomorrow afternoon. It's hubby's birthday tomorrow, gonna give him a surprise present. Hope he likes it. Mummy will be helping me look after Baby Kayson for a few hours while me & hubby go out for a short date.

Alrights. That's all for today's post. Will be back soon. Stay tune for BB's full month post.

凯羚♥♥义发

2:04 PM

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

MY SUNSHINE

Woke up with a great news. Baby Kayson is taking in more & more of my expressed breast milk everyday. Nurses & doctors increased them. This news cheers me up before i got up from bed. Hubby & mil will be going down to see baby kayson today. Sad thing that i can't go down but nvm. I'll ask hubby to snap pictures of him for me to see. I'll be visiting him on friday & will be doing his birth cert on friday toos. Time please fly faster so that days will pass faster & baby kayson will recover faster & he can be discharged faster. Hahahhass. I just can't wait for him to be by my side. Gonna cuddle him tight. Gonna plant him many many kisses. Gonna stare at him sleep. Gonna see him grow everyday. Time heals everything yea?

凯羚♥♥义发

12:32 PM

Monday, March 14, 2011

SOME THOUGHTS

This gonna be a naggy + boring post. Just some thoughts i had this few days.

Went to visit Baby Kayson twice yesterday. Once in the afternoon with Jasceline ah yi, Cecelia ah yi, Mummy & Eunice. When we reached, Baby Kayson was on phototherapy because his jaundice level is high. Was told that he'll be fine soon. Seeing him under the light with his eyes covered aches my heart. Left very soon cause mummy says i can't stay out for long as i'm still doing confinement. Was super reluctant to leave but no choice. Back to granny's & daddy says night time he'll be going to visit Baby Kayson with granny. Told daddy i wanna go down with them & daddy came to pick me & granny at 7pm plus. Reached the ward & Baby Kayson was crying badly. My heart sank to the bottom when i hear his cries. He keeps crying & struggling around when his pacifier drops & he even scratches his face. There's a cut on his face. =(

Told the nurse to let him wear a mittens incase of more scratches. Dad wanted to leave after not long. Guess he's also heartbroken to see Baby Kayson like that. Dad sent us home. On the way home was super moodless. Reached home, had a chat with hubby & broke down. I told hubby i don't feel like a mother. Cause after i gave birth to Baby Kayson till now, i haven't carried him yet. And he looks like he's suffering. Will he blame me in the future for giving birth to him like that? Am i the one who caused him to be suffering?

Hubby hugged me tight telling me everything will be alright but i know he's also tearing. Haiish. Let's just hope Baby Kayson will be fine & discharge real soon. I will jiayous in expressing milk for him every 3hourly & hubby will jiayous in working hard earning money to support us.

Woke up this morning by mummy's call asking about Baby Kayson's situation. But i didn't receive any calls from kkh. Decided to call up the ward & good news i received. Although he's still on phototherapy, but he started taking in my expressed breast milk at 9am and they'll feed him 4ml every hourly. Hope everything goes well. Pray hard.

Alrights. That's all for today's post. Today's the 4th day of my confinement. Still doing good with hubby by my side & granny's care. Really appreciate everything that granny's doing for me. She's really good. Love her so much.

Ohh yahh...
Thanks Teacher Audrey(Mummy's ex colleague) for the hamper gift.
Thanks Ichiban(Mummy's work place) for the hamper gift.
Thanks Ah Yan Aunty(Mummy's colleague) for the ang bao.
Thanks Jessie ah yi for the ang bao.
Thanks Jasceline ah yi for the ang bao & biscuits.
Thanks Cecelia ah yi for the ang bao & biscuits.
Thanks xiao yi po for the ang bao.
Thanks 3rd gu gong for the ang bao.

Thanks people for all ur care & concerns. Greatly appreciated. =D

凯羚♥♥义发

2:27 PM

Friday, March 11, 2011

BABY KAYSON'S BIRTH STORY & DISCHARGE

Hellos peoples~ JkaiLing's back with a new life. This gonna be a long & wordy post. So.. get prepared. Will be updating Baby Kayson's birth story & reasons why he isn't home with me now. =D

Alright. This is how it goes. When i was about 6 months pregnant, the doctor did a detail scan for me & found out that baby kayson's stomach has got 2 bubbles. This 2 bubbles are his stomach & his intestine. They're bloated & there's a narrow part in between. My heart sank to the bottom when i heard this & the first question that came out from my mouth was 'Can my baby survive?' My gynae confirmed & assured me that my baby can survive but gonna go through a minor operation. I seated back & thanked god. Caused for some of u might know my first baby girl didn't make it through & if really~~(touch wood)~~ baby kayson also can't make it, i don't know wad am i going to do. I definitely can't take it & sure to break down seriously.

So during my next few months of pregnancy after knowing this problem changed totally. I took loads of calcium & nutrients. Drinking 1litre of low fat milk every single day & taking in fruits after meals. My weight went up to more than 70kg but i didn't care much cause wad i wan is a healthy baby. I know i'm gonna have difficulties in losing weight after birth but that doesn't really concerns me other than baby kayson.

I always dream about giving birth on march though my edd is on 2nd april. So i washed up baby kayson's stuff during mid feb & it takes me 2 weeks to finish preparing his stuffs & bring all to my granny's place as i'll be doing confinement there. On 7th march midnight about 1am, when me & hubby was about to turn in, i had sharp pain & bad cramps on my left side of stomach & my stomach was feeling very very bloated. Called up KKH & asked if i should go down & consult, the nurse advised me to go down immediately incase i've dilated. So hubs & myself changed & cabbed down. On the way down, was thinking, am i really going to give birth on 8th march?(三八妇女节) cause i keep telling my relatives i got a feeling baby kayson will come out on this day.(Fyi, since young my predictions are quite accurate).

Reached kkh, was being pushed up to labour ward. Did admission & doctor came to check me. Was 3 cm dilated. Doctor decided to call up & gynae & was put on drip & ctg strip to see if there's any contractions. Till morning 8am, my gynae came & checked me & told me i'm still only 3cm dilated. Decided to let me rest in normal ward & she'll decided whether to burst my waterbag & let me proceed with labour cause baby kayson is still in 36 weeks 3 days only. It's still consider premature.

At about 1pm, my gynae came & told me she decided to burst my waterbag on 9th march 12am & let me go on with labour because baby kayson is weighing 2.7kg & it's oks for me to give birth to him. Rested & nurse came to pump some watery thingy into my buttocks & let me clear my stomach. Cleared my bowels & pushed down to the labour ward at 1am. Gynae came & burst my waterbag & started to have contractions. Contractions come & go till 3am 6cm dilated i gave in to epidural. Epidural is really my saviour. It saved my life! Was full 10cm dilated at 5am & started pushing with the help of hubs & nurses. Hubs & nurses was very couraging. Gynae came in at 5.05am & at 5.23am baby kayson is out! Didn't feel any pain when my gynae cut & stitch me all thanks to epidural. CooL much my gynae did a great job & i was feeling very numb all over my body. Rested for 3 hours & was pushed back to normal ward for recovery.

I'm glad that i'm able to walk down of bed myself at about 11am. Only feel pain in my buttocks due to epidural. Relatives & families came to visit me & granny cooked me confinement food. Glad that my appetite was good. Managed to eat quite alot. Mum & hubs left at 8plus. Slept throughout the night with the help of chicken essence. Hubs & mil came at 7plus in the morning on the 10th & brought me breakfast. Ate & nurse came to teach me about breastfeeding. Was discharged on 10th march 11pm. Cabbed to granny's place with hubs & mil. And now under the care of granny's for the next 40 days with great & good food. =D

BABY KAYSON

Alrights. I was discharged alone because as i mentioned on top that baby kayson needa go for operation after birth. Doctor initially said that they'll be doing the operation for him after 2 days of birth, but after baby kayson is out on the 9th, the specialist doctor told us that baby is looking good & fine & is able to proceed with operation after scans are done. Agreed in forwarding the days of operation & the operation was a success! He's now in Children's ICU under observation in recovery. Doctors told me they've taken away the breathing tube & he is breathing well himself. He'll be transfered to High Depensive Ward soon & if nothing goes wrong, he'll be transfer to normal ward & days after he can be discharged.

I thank god for giving me this gift though he isn't prefect. Nobody's perfect right? I took the courage to blog his problem out as i feel that there's nothing to hide about. This is my life & i gonna accept it. I've started expressing out my breastmilk for him. I wanna give him the best. I'll give him what i can cause he's my flesh & blood. He's our precious. God will bless him & he'll be a healthy & happy kid like any other kids.

Alright! A very naggy post huhh? That's all. Will be back for more updates when baby kayson is home with me alright? Will promise to post up more of his pictures. So.. Stay tune!

凯羚♥♥义发

8:08 AM

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

ohh myy! my gynae gonna burst my water bag tonight at 12am & i'll be going into labour. hopefully baby will comes out in the morning 9th march. pray hard.

凯羚♥♥义发

1:00 AM

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Blogging with my phone cause i can't get to sleep eventhough i didn't sleep at all last night. SHAG!
Currently in my 35weeks. i hope baby boy will comes out when he's ready & not let us wait so long. Can't wait to carry him in my arms & plant him many many kisses. Gonna see my gynae in the 8th & i wonder have i dilated. LOL.

凯羚♥♥义发

6:24 PM

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