Wednesday, November 3, 2010
IT'S JUST NOT ME TODAY!
Woke up at 11am with a fucked up mood. Had a tiff with hubby and got super fed up. FUCK! Nothing seems to make me smile today. NOTHING! Had my lunch and my mood is still super fucked up. I don't understand why do i have to accept all these shits from you. I didn't owe u anything and i don't control your life. You control your own life. Keep having negative thoughts and tears rolled down like tap. Wanted to stop and cool down, but everything seems so hard and difficult. Time don't seems to tick today. Everything somehow paused today in my mind. I broke down. Totally! And i can't find the reasons of my breaking down. I want today to end so badly. It's not my day today. I know i can't call u back to my side now cause i'll ruin your job. I'll stay by myself cooling down slowly. I don't know what to type anymore. Eyes staring in the screen and vision turning blur. I blinked and it's clear again. Sunlight coming shinning in and out of the window. Felt so tired but couldn't get myself to sleep. Everybody's and everything's so busy and i'm sitting here doing nothing everyday. So many things running through my head. You, you, you you and you. Husband, families and friends. All their words hitted me so hard. Some stayed in there hurting me everytime i think of it. I always tell myself to treat the way people treat me. Don't treat them too well and getting hurt in the end. Well, i guess it's not going to work. ARGHS! WHATEVER! LET IT BE.
*People, ignore this post. Yea! I'm crazy.. I hope i don't get depression again.
I'll treat u the way u treat me. If u find the sudden big change in me treating you, then you're the one that isn't treating me well. Don't show me your stupid attitude as and when u like. I don't owe you anything. Not happy then fuck off. I won't care about your irritating face or what-so-like attitude anymore. You've reached the limit of my patience!
i guess, this is a part of pregnancy.
凯羚
♥♥义发
3:06 PM
